5 Ways Summer Time is Good for Your Marriage!

What is your favourite season? It may or may not be summer, but did you ever stop and realize how beneficial the summer season is for your marriage? Take a look at the 5 ways we’ve listed here! No doubt, you can think of more ways summer time is good for your marriage!

Summer time is good for your marriage

1.  Longer Days

  • Waking earlier because of daylight streaming into your bedroom gives time for early morning sex.
  • Late sunsets allow for evening strolls or tennis matches together.

2.  Warmer Temperatures

  • The temperature allows for “making out” in the car or outdoors!
  • Rarely does your spouse shock you with their ice-cold feet on your body
  • Sleeping in the nude is totally possible!
  • There are more reasons to shower together on hot summery days

3.  Summer Attire is Conducive to Sex!

  • It’s quick and easy to move from “making out” to “sex”
  • No bulky sweaters, socks, or jeans to be removed
  • Your sexy swimwear can help “turn on” your spouse!

4.  Vacation Week

  • Not having to rush to work every day gives you time to work through the 7-Day Sex Challenge!
  • Rest and relaxation makes you less stressed and more patient, caring, and kind to your spouse.
  • You have enough time to read a few marriage books while relaxing at the beach, cottage, or campsite.

5.  Wedding Season

  • Weddings bring back memories of your own wedding day and encourage you to rekindle love towards your spouse.
  • Hearing couples repeat their marriage vows is a good reminder about keeping the vows you made at your wedding
  • You can celebrate your wedding anniversary (if you had a summer wedding)!
  • Seeing happy newlywed couples helps inspire romance!

Be sure to take advantage of the summer season and all of its benefits to your marriage! Don’t waste another day… autumn and winter will be here before we know it!

The Three-Story Technique for Couples

If you and your spouse find mutual conversation a bit of a chore, try the tip that Elizabeth and Thomas have for us today, called the Three-Story Technique.

Their little tip is especially suited for couples when one is an extreme extrovert, and the other an introvert!

Their practical exercise will help every couple meaningfully engage in conversation—and have lots of fun doing it!

The Power of Intimacy

power of intimacy in marriage

What does a wife do when her husband is secretive about an issue and resistant to talk about it openly?

Here are a few thoughts:

1. Self-esteem and being valued are high on the husband’s list of needs; therefore, it’s important that, generally speaking, nothing is done ‘behind his back’, including discussions with others, counseling, or seeking opinions of friends. Taking ‘private’ problems between a husband and wife and discussing with friends in a ‘public’ manner without his permission can be devastating.

Men that discover their wives have been sharing private issues/ problems with others without stated permission feel “raped” and betrayed emotionally. Of course, the exception to this rule of thumb would be the presence of violence, neglect, or abuse of any kind taking place. Wives need to talk about this immediately with someone they trust!

2. The power of transformation in a marriage is found in its intimacy. The goal is to reach it, maintain it, and enjoy it, in all its expressions!

When Intimacy thrives, there is honesty, openness, and vulnerability between both partners:

  • Honesty demands we work toward becoming an ‘open book’, being ourselves with no pretense—all the while expressing ourselves in love. Honesty leads me to say what I feel and think—even if I’m apprehensive.
  • Openness is inviting your spouse into a relationship that enjoys free flowing expressions of ideas and feelings. This is the place of unconditional acceptance. Difficult conversations in the context of real love transform both partners.
  • Vulnerability means I willingly expose my heart and mind to the person I love most in the world. No need to protect myself; heart encounters always result in the healing of souls.

3. Don’t encourage the secrecy by avoiding it. Occasionally a wife will empathize with her husband and begin to protect the secret by avoidance, even to the point of protecting him from situations or conversations she knows will bring it to light.

Men are designed to be warriors and protectors and when challenged appropriately, with God’s help, will rise to the occasion. It may be a mistake for wives to try to protect their husbands—perhaps the best approach is complete honesty and openness even if there is pain as a result.

How long will your marriage last?

July 14, 1982

Our Wedding Day: July 14, 1982

Jim and I were thrilled to celebrate our 33rd wedding anniversary last week (July 14th)! When we consider 33 years, a few thoughts come to mind:

  • that’s a long time to be married!
  • we don’t feel old or mature enough to be married that long!
  • our marriage hasn’t been a drudgery but a wonderful journey of growing closer and deeper in love!

Watch our video below to hear us share two reasons why our marriage has lasted 33 years (and counting!). Apply those tips to your marriage and you’ll enjoy a long-lasting marriage too!

Don’t wait; invest now!


don't just stand there

Don’t wait; invest now!

Everyone wants to invest: some want secure investments, others want investments with more risk—but everyone knows it’s smart to invest! We agree.

Let’s invest in something that has an unbelievable ROI (return on investment): our marriage!

Some people invest money at the end of the year. Others, think they’ll invest when they receive a special bonus or monetary gift. Financial planners tell us the best way to invest is regularly with smaller amounts if necessary. Small regular instalments are better for long range saving, because the good intentions of investing large amounts just occasionally are replaced with manageable, frequent instalments, albeit smaller.

Do you see the similarities?!

Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day or Anniversaries to invest in your relationship! Instead, plan for the small, daily expressions of romance and love that won’t “break the bank” financially but will definitely bring you a huge return on your investment (as small as it might be).

Ideas for small daily investments?

  • Develop new habits: men—open the car door for your wife; women–express gratitude more freely
  • Check out our 30 Day Challenge—a free resource that gives you 1 idea every day!
  • Do the 7-Day Sex Challenge, which is a very manageable and very sizzling way to increase intimacy in your marriage in 7 days (and enjoy lots of sex with your spouse!)

Don’t wait; invest now!

7,000 Nights of Sex

Meet the newly revised 7-Day Sex Challenge!

The original 7-Day Sex Challenge e-book has helped over 1,000 couples! It’s a marriage course like no other — plus it requires the absolute best kind of homework with your spouse…

We are excited to announce that our best-selling e-book is newly revised and also available in paperback!

Listen to Jim and Carrie introduce the newly revised 7-Day Sex Challenge!

The original 7-day sex challenge course

The Only Two Things You Should Be Doing in Bed!

Intimacy and sleep experts alike agree on this advice: your bed should be reserved for two things, and they both start with an ‘s’, sleep and sex.

sleep

Not only should the bed be reserved for these two activities, but the quality of each positively affects the quality of the other!

Researchers from the University of Michigan (article here) tracked 171 young women’s sleep and sex patterns for over two weeks. They concluded that each additional hour of sleep increases the next day’s possibility of sex by 14%! Take home (or take to bed, that is!): more sleep, more sex — and better sex, in fact. The women in the study reported higher physical arousal after a longer period of sleep.

To set yourself up for sleep and sex success, follow these guidelines:

  • create a welcoming, clean and clutter-free atmosphere
  • keep the temperature cool, and the room dark
  • stick to a consistent sleep and wake schedule, even on weekends; this will help regulate your body’s natural clock
  • exercise daily, if possible
  • avoid being on devices (laptops and phones!) at least 30 min before bedtime
  • keep work out of the bedroom
  • keep the tv out of the bedroom too!

Improving your sleep is an important way that you give your best self to your marriage and, especially, to your sexual relationship!

Fine-Tuning Your Love-Making (in the Key of F)!

Has sex improved for you and your spouse since your honeymoon?  As with any other activity, we need a bit of fine-tuning now and again to really hone our skills! You know what they say…10,000 hours of practice ‘til you’re an expert!

The best way to fine-tune your love-making is to become an expert of your spouse.  Learn how sex works best for them and what they enjoy the most. We suggest you use these specific questions to check-in with your spouse and begin fine-tuning your love-making.

Foreplay:

  1. What type of foreplay works best to get you aroused?
    1. slow, tender, and gentle
    2. aggressive, passionate, and intense
  2. How much time do you need us to focus on foreplay?
    1. at least 25 minutes
    2. 15 minutes is plenty
    3. a few minutes is all it takes for me
  3. Do you prefer low lighting or full lighting during foreplay?

Frequency:

  1. Are you satisfied with how often we have sex?
    1. it’s close to perfect for me
    2. no, I want it more/less often
    3. yes, but I’d be okay if we had it less often
    4. yes, but I’d be thrilled if we had it more often
  2. When time of day do you most prefer we have sex?
    1. morning
    2. daytime
    3. evening
  3. What time of the week do you enjoy love-making the most?
    1. weekday
    2. weekend

Fondling:

  1. Where on your body do you enjoy being touched?
  2. Do you enjoy different types of touching?
    1. caress
    2. squeeze
    3. kiss
    4. other

Forms:

  1. What position do you prefer we use when having sex?
  2. What is your least favourite position and why?
  3. What new position would you like to try?
  4. Would you like to try something besides intercourse, such as stimulation using our hands or mouths?

Finale:

  1. After sex, what do you like us to do?
    1. embrace one another for several minutes
    2. clean up, cuddle and talk
    3. clean up, cuddle and fall asleep

If you’ve never discussed these topics with your husband or wife, be ready to learn something new! Then, use the information to hone your skills and fine-tune your love-making!

Connection Day Trumps Valentine’s Day, Any Day!

For many of us, Valentine’s Day is too commercial, too syrupy-sweet, and too manufactured: it often seems nothing more than a Hallmark cash-grab we’re all supposed to get excited about.

If you’re feeling romance has been hijacked by V-D consumerism, why not make up a day of your own? I’m going to do it—and mine is going to be called, Connection Day!

love-you-everyday-valentines-day-quotes

On Connection Day, before I leave for work, I’m going to make 10 post-it notes and randomly distribute nine of these little love notes in places my wife can find with a little bit of searching. 

The first note I will hand to her, smile, and tell her there are nine others—and if she doesn’t find them, I’ll help her locate them when I get home from work (that will really make her anxious to find the rest of them!). Throughout the day, I will call home twice, just to let her know I’m thinking of her. When I come home from work, my wife will tell me about her post-it-note-hunting, and then I will hand her another, longer note that explains in detail why and how I love being connected with her! I know she’ll love it!

Who knows? Maybe together we can explore other creative ways to become more connected!

Book Review: XES – Why church girls tend to get it backwards…

When Joy McMillan contacted me in 2014 about reviewing her newly published book, I was definitely curious. Her book title, “XES – Why church girls tend to get it backwards…and how to get it right” was certainly provocative! 

XES bookAs I read XES, there were moments I chuckled and plenty of moments I cried. I found myself pausing often to read portions aloud to my husband:  “Jim, listen to this…”  Besides that, my copy of Joy’s book now has highlighted portions on almost every page!

No doubt, women will be deeply moved to read Joy’s story as she shares it with such openness, honesty, and vulnerability. Despite her painful past with its shame, God’s redeeming grace has given Joy a beautiful confidence that is inspiring to read and understand.

Joy teaches and encourages wives to intentionally pursue God’s best for their marriage and gain a greater understanding of God’s heart toward sexual intimacy in marriage.  Her “Reflection and Action” sections at the end of each chapter help the reader apply the important topics she clearly discusses. Any Christian wife will find something in Joy’s book they can identify with and take steps to move their marriage relationship closer to God’s beautiful design.

Visit Joy’s website for more details.