Does he love you? How would your spouse answer if that question was asked about you? Saying the words “I love you” is important but that’s not where the expression of love stops.
“They do not love that do not show their love.” -Shakespeare
Be intentional with loving. It is important that we follow through on our spoken “I love you” and express our love to our spouse in other ways as well. Don’t allow your love to be passive.
Does He Love You … Does She Love You?
… “Let me count the ways!”
1. Act On Your Love
Use actions to reaffirm your love to your husband or wife. Write a loveletter. Help with the household chores. Do something for your spouse that you know will be meaningful for them. Give an unexpected hug! Say “thank you”. In fact, if you have a thought of appreciation for your spouse, stop whatever you’re doing. Right then and there, call your husband and let him know you appreciate him and why. Or write a thank you note to your wife expressing how wonderful you think she is and why. Don’t put it off! If you do, you’ll either forget to do it later or lose that spontaneous feeling of appreciation.
2. Be Giving to Your Spouse
“The love we give away is the only love we keep.” Elbert Hubbard
You may have heard of the “love language” concept. It’s true; your spouse will feel most loved by the “language” they understand the best. Love can be expressed in many forms including: verbally – “I love you”, by giving things, or by spending time with your spouse.
Being unselfish and giving is an important expression of love that needs to be a part of every marriage relationship. If your spouse’s primary love language is that of giving, then being giving and generous to him or her is all the more important.
Unselfish and thoughtful acts of giving will drive home the message of your love. Surprise your husband with his favorite meal, or tickets to a game or movie that you know he’ll especially enjoy. Let her know that you madly love her by treating her to dinner or buying that special item that you know she’d love to have.
Giving doesn’t have to cost money though. Be generous with your time. Turn off the TV, take time for a walk together, or pack a picnic and visit the local park.
Jim and I have a large family and there’s no end to housework. But sometimes I need to just take a break for 10 minutes, forget about switching the laundry loads, turn the stove down low, and sit with Jim. I know how much Jim appreciates me stealing away moments just to be with him. It’s another way for me to let him know how much I love him. As an added bonus, this simple expression of love has other benefits! It’s a great way for us to reconnect with one another during a busy day, it keeps me from being so frantic about “all the work that needs to be done”, and it helps me keep my priorities in line. Our marriage relationship is most important.
3. Keep Verbalizing Your Love!
But if you mean it, you should say it a lot – people forget.” Source Unknown
“I love you.” Don’t let these important words be left unsaid. Say them to your spouse every day… often! Call your spouse from work just to say “I love you”. Say it when you feel the “warm loving feelings” and even when you don’t.
Be creative in your verbal expression. Here are a few suggestions.
- “I love you because I’m yours and you make me feel special.”
- “You are so thoughtful and caring that I can’t help but love you.”
- “When I saw how beautiful you looked tonight, my love for you just filled my heart.”
- “I was at my desk today, and thoughts of you made me realize how much I love you.”
If someone were to ask me about Jim, “ Does he love you ?” without any doubt or hesitation, I’d proudly shout “Yes!”. Jim is a master at letting me know how he loves me.
- He acts on his love for me (bringing me a glass of milk and a toasted sandwich when I haven’t taken time for lunch; or massaging my feet… something he knows I appreciate!)
- He is unselfish and giving (wants me to have the best, be most comfortable, go first, choose the movie; makes supper, tidies up the kitchen … no small task!, spends time with me)
- He tells me “I love you” often. In fact, I know that Jim has influenced our children. Even our older teen boys tell us daily “I love you mom and dad.” “I love you” are words that I can’t hear enough. But Jim also knows that I like to know “why” he loves me so he often expresses that to me too. It’s wonderful!
Don’t keep your spouse wondering… Does he love you or does she love you … Be sure your spouse is confident of your love. Why not call him or her right now and verbally express it to them? If that’s not possible, write a loveletter, or make plans to express it another way today!